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Welcome to
Finding Joy Through Forgiveness LLC
Helping Women Choose "Better Over Bitter" after Separation or Divorce
Forgiveness Coaching to Help You Heal
About Me
Hello, and welcome to my page. I am so glad you are here. My name is Kris, and I have been leading, guiding, and encouraging people through divorce since 2010. I did this part-time through my church in a group called DivorceCare. Recently, I felt God leading me to guide and help people in a different way.
My mission is to help women find joy through forgiveness and choose to be better, not bitter, through or after a divorce. I have seen firsthand what happens when you choose forgiveness and to be better. It changes your life and the lives of the people you love.
I have witnessed the healing of my heart and my children's hearts. Now, my grandchildren will never know the bitterness and hurt of my divorce. Divorce can result in generations of hurt and trauma, but it doesn't have to be this way. There is a better way.
One of my favorite posts I've seen regarding being in service to other people is:
"I love when people who have been through
hell walk out of the flames carrying buckets
of water for those still consumed by the fire."
In 2005, I began one of the hardest walks of my life - divorce. It was hands down the most painful time of my life. My heart was torn into a thousand pieces, and I also had three children who were suffering right along with me. I started going to church to find relief from the pain I was in.
I was sitting in the pew by myself crying, the kind of cry where you could feel the sorrow deep in your soul. Sitting in church amid my grief, I heard the pastor say, "In times like this, you have two choices: you can be better or bitter."
Something about those words pierced my soul, and I started listening to his message. Maybe I felt I had a choice in all of this. Even though I couldn't stop the divorce, I had a choice to be better and not bitter. Or maybe, just maybe, this was the beginning of God's calling and purpose for my life.
I made a promise that day, in my seat, to God, my kids, and myself; I decided that no matter what, I would walk out of this and be a better person. I didn't want my divorce to define the rest of our lives. I didn't want my kids to have a bitter, angry mom.
I had no idea at that time how I would get there, or what God would ask of me, but He did. God put people in my life who would walk this journey with me and keep me out of the pit of despair and on the road to finding joy again.
This journey was not easy, but my decision to be better was life-changing. As I stayed on the path, in every situation during my divorce, when I had a choice to say or do something, I would whisper to myself, "better not bitter."
When I wanted to fight, I said better; when I wanted to scream and cry, I said better; when I wanted to give up, I said better. This became the mantra that I lived by for the next 18 years, and I still do today. Every time I chose better, God poured blessings into my life, and living a life of forgiveness is drenched in goodness.
I believe that the path I went down prepared me to help others. Maybe you never made the conscious decision to be better or bitter. Perhaps you don't have kids, or your kids are grown adults. Perhaps you are not divorced, but your parents are, and the unforgiveness is bringing bitterness into your family. Maybe you are just heading down this path, or maybe you've been divorced for 20 years.
Whatever the case may be, forgiveness and choosing to be better may be the answer to finding peace and joy. This is my mess that God turned into His message, and I hope it can help you. Please feel free to check out my site and read my blogs. I would love to be a lifeline for you to help you navigate the pitfalls of healing.
For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future
Jerimiah 29:11
Copyright © 2022 Kris Halwas - All Rights Reserved.
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